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Thursday, April 5, 2018


Cat Food Diet

This woman has her bridge club every Thursday night and
after a peaceful game or two with the ladies, she goes home
to fix her husband dinner when he gets home from work. Well,
one Thursday, she's playing a great game and she has an
incredible hand when she notices the time. "Oh, no! I have
to go fix my husband his dinner! He's going to be so angry
if it's not ready on time." And she dashes out of her
friend's house, her great hand forgotten on the table.

When she gets home, she realizes she has very little time,
not enough time to go to the supermarket, and all she has in
the cupboard is a wilted lettuce leaf, an egg, and a can of
cat food. In a panic, she opens the can of cat food, stirs
in the egg, and garnishes it with the lettuce leaf just as
her husband is pulling up. She watches in horror as he sits
down to his dinner, and then she realizes he is loving it!

"Mmmm, darling, this is the best dinner you have made for me
in forty years of marriage. You can make this for me any old
day, mmmmm!" And that night they had sex for the first time
in months and it was great!

Needless to say, every Thursday from then on, she made this
dinner for her husband. She tells her bridge cronies about
it and they are all horrified.

"You're going to kill him," they say, or "He's just yanking
your chain," but she continued to make him his cat food
dinner and then, afterwards, they would bonk like fiends.

Two months later, her husband died and all the bridge women
the Thursday after the funeral attacked our new widow for
being so callous. "You killed him!

We told you that feeding him that cat food every week would
do him in! How can you just sit there so calmly and play
bridge knowing you murdered your husband?"

The wife stoically replied, "Ahh, I didn't kill him. He fell
off the mantle when he was licking his ass."

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